i faked this news

And i thought i am not that great at faking things. Here is my first attempt at faking news. I posted this article on the forum which got 39 hits as of now and still running.

In an interesting development today which is going to change the face of Indian democracy, the election commission decided to get rid of electronic voting machines for the elections to be held in 2014. The commission has come up with a proposal to use 'Like' feature of Facebook instead. The process will be simple, the candidate will have to create a FB profile and the counting of vote will be online with the number of 'likes' reflected for the candidate on FB. Although, candidates can use only their own pictures as profile pics; use of bollywood hotties as profile picture is strictly prohibited. Allegedly, this move has been made to involve the youth of today more in to the democratic processes and procedures. Also, since the roll-out of UID has been marred by internal politics, the election commission feels that Facebook ID can very well be used in place of UID. To ensure that there is no duplication in the facebook id creation, a sophisticated software is being developed by none other than Vishw Bandhu Gupta ( Former IAS, has excellent understanding of computers specially cloud computing; for un-initiated, please check you tube). On basis of the updates, profile pics, frequency of lol'z and ROFL's used this software will create a unique profile for each user. With super cheap tabloids in the market, access shouldn't be a problem, said an official. The government is all set to subsidize already subsidized USD 35 tabloid to Rs. 32 tabloid so that at least people above the poverty line can exercise the power to vote and later the right to be socially active. Facebook has its apprehensions on the long term impact on its brand. Analysts are of view that this might lead in to serious 'seriousization' of Facebook and would put it in bad boring light.

ganges met arabian: the wedding narrative

Undeterred even after 3 days long train journey holding dreams in their eyes to witness a catholic wedding with an 'I Do' in the end, the gang from heartlands of India landed on to the sands of the sin city-Goa. Though, it was already explained subtly and directly that the groom is a Marathi and a Hindu, but still they were not convinced. A wedding in Goa, should end with an 'I Do'. Hope is so hallucinating at times.

The guys family welcomed the girls side to Goa. And there it got all clear. The guys side were traditional Marathi people. Not much depressed by the first set back, the gang was determined to have some fun and good time in Goa. They were made to settle down in a cozy mansion. To feel at home and in search of some adventure, a flock of women from the group crossed the limits of the mansion and started doing a pooja in an open land. That land turned out to belong to some one from a different religion. In a second, huge crowd gathered there to protest hindu pooja on a non Hindu land. Good that some warm blooded bros were not around. They had all the potential to create a ruckus there. Wise elders understood the matter and sorted out a compromise fast.

The wedding was on the other day. More or less it was a traditional wedding, some grumpy serious faces sitting in a row discussing i guess politics, an elder brother giving order and many younger following some, a kid running amok with seven coke bottles tied by his arm on the chest, alarming announcements for a lost child who was invariably found within 40 seconds in some corner of the pandal beating another lost kid.

The barat was expected to come by 4 in the evening. Now this was not at all usual for people used to waiting for the baraat till 1 in the night. Barat is synonymous to night, and making late almost always. So even when this information was given,it was some how not processed. After having a sumptuous lunch at 3.30, every one went to enjoy siesta. The plan, i assume must have been to sleep till 3.58 and get ready for the wedding in 2 minutes.

But to the horror, really the barat came at 4! Now there was a frenzy. Sister running with bare ears in search of ear rings, which she thought she somewhere handed to either mom or one of the mom's three sister. There were pleadings made to some indifferent brother to get something from the 3rd floor. Men let their silk tie go off, and just stood with an open collar and open arms for the welcome.

The wedding started. And ended. In between the veil fell, as it falls in a traditional marathi wedding, the girls saw the face of his groom for the first time. (err..He was a classmate before).

Next day, it was reception ceremony. Apart from regular stalls, tables, round tables, couple thrones there was also a dark corner, somewhere behind all the arrangements. Though it was an impromptu arrangement made by the brothers and friends, it was attracting maximum traffic. Say..they were having 'water' there. I mean officially you are not allowed to have water, so the corner and the darkness and the shield of some innocent non-'water'ic kid was needed.

The last day of the stay was marked by the historic bath of the gang in the Arabians. A bro who is often misunderstood to be Rajni with his goggles and shirts on, decided to let the ocean drench him, and there flew the gandhian vests. And then there was a stampede, the children thought they just saw an old bear with hair all over. I mean yes, the one's exposing their charm from nose and the ears were also not so charming, but children accepted it as a way of life. But existence of another treasure (on) chest was unnerving for the innocent souls.

Social networking has become an integral part of our life-

Hence we decided to give The most social person in the bro and the chick category sponsored by Facebook. According to a post marriage survey, one of the friend of the bride and the groom, allegedly in white saree got maximum number of FB friend request. She was awarded 'most social chick of the night' award. The same survey cited that a bro, notorious on FB, sent the maximum friend request to any and every one including to the one in white saree (though with an attached script) was awarded most social bro of the night. We congratulate them on behalf of whole 'I love Golghar, Gorakhpur' club on the Face Book.

Growing up.

The food court here has an amazing appetite given its capability to gulp in more than a thousand hungry employees in a shot. Its a sight standing at one corner of this huge dome looking at the buzz every day. Also, it is indeed a struggle to find three vacant seats and then rush to capture it before any one else's claim. Having successfully tolerated this routine, colleague who always brings some interest to the boring office lunches with his comments, questions and observations, passed a casual comment, "'look at that guy, is he really wearing Armani'?. I looked and thought- obviously not. Meanwhile, he cam up with his second cutting edge observation. "No, can't be, i mean look at his 'campus' shoes". Basically this colleague of mine is a very nice guy, so immediately out of guilt he said, "look how we have become, in our childhood did we cared for such things? Why do we care now?". I thought may be because we have grown up. We have become sophisticated. We are no more that child who reciprocates any ones and everyones love with a smile. We now need a reason to smile, to like and further love someone. The spontaneity of that love reflected in a child's smile has vanished. The child has no need to get impressed to give you a smile. We, the grown-up's need to be impressed. On contrary, we get cynical about a strangers smile.

As we grow up, we start looking around for the best. The best clothes, the best shoes, the best watch, the best girl. Thats keep us ticking, gives us some inspiration to get up and move in the world of which we got bored long back. We start taking pleasure in the best, pursuing the best.

This, if stays in its original form is still a defend-able thing what we call pursuit of excellence. Slowly this habit finds an extension in getting associated with the excellence and then with the excellent and then with what that excellent is wearing or driving.

In our desperate search of excellence and excellent, we start making snap judgement. Excellent drives BMW becomes BMW hmm.. must be excellent.

You can't just be. Like you were born. Just to be. Not to prove. If you start just being, at times you are ridiculed, or for sure not given due importance. But that is justified. Its a give and take world. You can not always expect to be at receiving end without being asked for something in return.

I feel like puking when i hear someone saying, 'how can you like her, you didn't see the kind of footwear she was wearing'? or 'You saw his clothes? didn't look like an IIM pass out'. Someone wants to flaunt her pursuit of excellence by going for a brand or not is completely her choice.

Having said all that, I know I 'grow up' a bit every time I get myself a smart phone or a branded shoe. Or rather every time, I succumb to the requirements of the world to pose myself as a 'grown up'. A grown up, in pursuit of excellence, in pursuit of the best, perfectly studded with perfect brands.