i faked this news

And i thought i am not that great at faking things. Here is my first attempt at faking news. I posted this article on the forum which got 39 hits as of now and still running.

In an interesting development today which is going to change the face of Indian democracy, the election commission decided to get rid of electronic voting machines for the elections to be held in 2014. The commission has come up with a proposal to use 'Like' feature of Facebook instead. The process will be simple, the candidate will have to create a FB profile and the counting of vote will be online with the number of 'likes' reflected for the candidate on FB. Although, candidates can use only their own pictures as profile pics; use of bollywood hotties as profile picture is strictly prohibited. Allegedly, this move has been made to involve the youth of today more in to the democratic processes and procedures. Also, since the roll-out of UID has been marred by internal politics, the election commission feels that Facebook ID can very well be used in place of UID. To ensure that there is no duplication in the facebook id creation, a sophisticated software is being developed by none other than Vishw Bandhu Gupta ( Former IAS, has excellent understanding of computers specially cloud computing; for un-initiated, please check you tube). On basis of the updates, profile pics, frequency of lol'z and ROFL's used this software will create a unique profile for each user. With super cheap tabloids in the market, access shouldn't be a problem, said an official. The government is all set to subsidize already subsidized USD 35 tabloid to Rs. 32 tabloid so that at least people above the poverty line can exercise the power to vote and later the right to be socially active. Facebook has its apprehensions on the long term impact on its brand. Analysts are of view that this might lead in to serious 'seriousization' of Facebook and would put it in bad boring light.

ganges met arabian: the wedding narrative

Undeterred even after 3 days long train journey holding dreams in their eyes to witness a catholic wedding with an 'I Do' in the end, the gang from heartlands of India landed on to the sands of the sin city-Goa. Though, it was already explained subtly and directly that the groom is a Marathi and a Hindu, but still they were not convinced. A wedding in Goa, should end with an 'I Do'. Hope is so hallucinating at times.

The guys family welcomed the girls side to Goa. And there it got all clear. The guys side were traditional Marathi people. Not much depressed by the first set back, the gang was determined to have some fun and good time in Goa. They were made to settle down in a cozy mansion. To feel at home and in search of some adventure, a flock of women from the group crossed the limits of the mansion and started doing a pooja in an open land. That land turned out to belong to some one from a different religion. In a second, huge crowd gathered there to protest hindu pooja on a non Hindu land. Good that some warm blooded bros were not around. They had all the potential to create a ruckus there. Wise elders understood the matter and sorted out a compromise fast.

The wedding was on the other day. More or less it was a traditional wedding, some grumpy serious faces sitting in a row discussing i guess politics, an elder brother giving order and many younger following some, a kid running amok with seven coke bottles tied by his arm on the chest, alarming announcements for a lost child who was invariably found within 40 seconds in some corner of the pandal beating another lost kid.

The barat was expected to come by 4 in the evening. Now this was not at all usual for people used to waiting for the baraat till 1 in the night. Barat is synonymous to night, and making late almost always. So even when this information was given,it was some how not processed. After having a sumptuous lunch at 3.30, every one went to enjoy siesta. The plan, i assume must have been to sleep till 3.58 and get ready for the wedding in 2 minutes.

But to the horror, really the barat came at 4! Now there was a frenzy. Sister running with bare ears in search of ear rings, which she thought she somewhere handed to either mom or one of the mom's three sister. There were pleadings made to some indifferent brother to get something from the 3rd floor. Men let their silk tie go off, and just stood with an open collar and open arms for the welcome.

The wedding started. And ended. In between the veil fell, as it falls in a traditional marathi wedding, the girls saw the face of his groom for the first time. (err..He was a classmate before).

Next day, it was reception ceremony. Apart from regular stalls, tables, round tables, couple thrones there was also a dark corner, somewhere behind all the arrangements. Though it was an impromptu arrangement made by the brothers and friends, it was attracting maximum traffic. Say..they were having 'water' there. I mean officially you are not allowed to have water, so the corner and the darkness and the shield of some innocent non-'water'ic kid was needed.

The last day of the stay was marked by the historic bath of the gang in the Arabians. A bro who is often misunderstood to be Rajni with his goggles and shirts on, decided to let the ocean drench him, and there flew the gandhian vests. And then there was a stampede, the children thought they just saw an old bear with hair all over. I mean yes, the one's exposing their charm from nose and the ears were also not so charming, but children accepted it as a way of life. But existence of another treasure (on) chest was unnerving for the innocent souls.

Social networking has become an integral part of our life-

Hence we decided to give The most social person in the bro and the chick category sponsored by Facebook. According to a post marriage survey, one of the friend of the bride and the groom, allegedly in white saree got maximum number of FB friend request. She was awarded 'most social chick of the night' award. The same survey cited that a bro, notorious on FB, sent the maximum friend request to any and every one including to the one in white saree (though with an attached script) was awarded most social bro of the night. We congratulate them on behalf of whole 'I love Golghar, Gorakhpur' club on the Face Book.

Growing up.

The food court here has an amazing appetite given its capability to gulp in more than a thousand hungry employees in a shot. Its a sight standing at one corner of this huge dome looking at the buzz every day. Also, it is indeed a struggle to find three vacant seats and then rush to capture it before any one else's claim. Having successfully tolerated this routine, colleague who always brings some interest to the boring office lunches with his comments, questions and observations, passed a casual comment, "'look at that guy, is he really wearing Armani'?. I looked and thought- obviously not. Meanwhile, he cam up with his second cutting edge observation. "No, can't be, i mean look at his 'campus' shoes". Basically this colleague of mine is a very nice guy, so immediately out of guilt he said, "look how we have become, in our childhood did we cared for such things? Why do we care now?". I thought may be because we have grown up. We have become sophisticated. We are no more that child who reciprocates any ones and everyones love with a smile. We now need a reason to smile, to like and further love someone. The spontaneity of that love reflected in a child's smile has vanished. The child has no need to get impressed to give you a smile. We, the grown-up's need to be impressed. On contrary, we get cynical about a strangers smile.

As we grow up, we start looking around for the best. The best clothes, the best shoes, the best watch, the best girl. Thats keep us ticking, gives us some inspiration to get up and move in the world of which we got bored long back. We start taking pleasure in the best, pursuing the best.

This, if stays in its original form is still a defend-able thing what we call pursuit of excellence. Slowly this habit finds an extension in getting associated with the excellence and then with the excellent and then with what that excellent is wearing or driving.

In our desperate search of excellence and excellent, we start making snap judgement. Excellent drives BMW becomes BMW hmm.. must be excellent.

You can't just be. Like you were born. Just to be. Not to prove. If you start just being, at times you are ridiculed, or for sure not given due importance. But that is justified. Its a give and take world. You can not always expect to be at receiving end without being asked for something in return.

I feel like puking when i hear someone saying, 'how can you like her, you didn't see the kind of footwear she was wearing'? or 'You saw his clothes? didn't look like an IIM pass out'. Someone wants to flaunt her pursuit of excellence by going for a brand or not is completely her choice.

Having said all that, I know I 'grow up' a bit every time I get myself a smart phone or a branded shoe. Or rather every time, I succumb to the requirements of the world to pose myself as a 'grown up'. A grown up, in pursuit of excellence, in pursuit of the best, perfectly studded with perfect brands.

Transition

The last evidence of my existence, as traced by this thread was the story i left somewhere on fields of my B-School. Then i got lost. Or rather it seems i found myself. Not for myself but for others. Yes, to get in to this mess was my decision. But once in, it became a compulsion. 
Flying from north at around 9 in night, was a moment to be marked, with the full moon bestowing all its illumination on a face wondering about first job in a new city. The other day, someone heard me on phone -"It looks like a real office, with thousand machine clad cubicles on both sides of a long lit up alley". The derisive smile on the persons face was just a reflex to my childishness. Sounded like office was some kind of Disneyland, a place to fantasize about. Well it was really that, for all kind of image one had about such a place (with no access to outsiders) is through stories, movies and bogs. Poor me, I carried this  idea for a few days even to my office. At times, the conscious stream of thoughts got converted in to what sane people call day-dreaming. Well, am I at the right place? Does this office, the work deserve me? I will have to find a way out...hmm what will I be in next 3 yrs, obviously i will not be here. And all that even before really getting to know, the kind of work people around me were doing. 

Then, very soon got to hear something like 'wrong account debited, can't you even see' ...Boom.... I heard Oracle from the movie matrix.....Welcome to the real world. Dude you have bartered your time and your thoughts for a credit in your account at the end of every month. A reprimand made me realize this. End of the days of free flowing thoughts. Now you have to think what you get paid for. This was what i call transition from college to work.

This, I was never prepared for. Truly, I did never realize this can happen. Then I remembered of those aphorisms- Make your hobby your career. This way you get paid for what your brain is wired to think of. You save yourself from a life long imprisonment of thoughts. But for most of the average people, what they think doesn't pay them. The conventional path is chosen of what others makes them think, because it pays them.

It’s not that difficult after a while.  Every prisoner gets accustomed to the laws of jail. And you have weekends to think of whatever you want to think about. What else do you want?

The other difference with this real world is that there are not many people who will take your crap of 'deep thinking'. Though intellectually stimulating, often permeating a sublime high, such shit never supports a body. Real people do not think much. They punch keys 13x5 a week. Sleep on Saturdays, play cricket and drink on Sundays. They enjoy life. They are happy.

The Pursuit of happIness ( the right form, not happYness)

Ask any one who has been to a B-school about the most testing time academically. Answer will invariably be -the first trimester of the course. Students trained to think in terms of technology,plants, rocks are bombarded with economic theories, organizational behavior jargons and what not. During one such lecture of economics when people were having hard time understanding the marginal utility principal ,our prof gave us an insight - Economics is all about Happiness. Reflecting upon, I realized that the theory is not limited only to economics.
Kotler defines marketing as 'meeting needs profitably' which ultimately leads to satisfaction of customers . Similarly finance teaches ways for maximizing the wealth of shareholders, which leads to happiness. So long before the release of 'Pursuit of Happyness', it got clear to me that life really is all about happiness.
Time passed and the course kept on providing ingenious ways to keep us busy and hence happy.
Recently in the last trimester I got to know something more about happiness...and this was during the sports week at our institute.
Our annual sports fest is the best time to be in campus. We are given chance to try our hands on some real games on field leaving 'theories of game'(alias game theory) in class. Emotions are high. Rivalry between the sections and groups makes the atmosphere lively. In such an atmosphere controversies are also rampant. People get chance to indulge in power play and show their managerial skills, which in fact is a good sign depicting that people are taking things seriously.During the event many incidents of foul play were reported.
Here again I couldn't stop my self from thinking why do people play games? Be it any game ...the game called life or the real field games. You already know this if you are a real sports person. The primary reason is you enjoy playing the game well , you enjoy the passion ,the synergy and the overall beauty generated by the participants putting their best. The other basal reason can be you want to establish yourself as winner and prove your superiority. Both of these reasons lead to happiness. But the real sports person doesn't give a damn to the other basal reason. For him it is a corollary if the game is played well and not the real reason to play the game. If someone just wants to win by using unfair means it is tyranny against humanity. The person is depraving himself and the other participants with the primary mode of happiness which comes when both the sides are given equal opportunity to put in their best. So if just winning provides someone happiness and not the means, the happiness is of c grade .
It is a crime because it is stealing others happiness by not letting them put their best.The thing is equally true for the game of life.
I got to learn one more thing. During one of the football matches late night, I lost my sweat shirt prepared specially for the occasion in the ground. For me it was not just a cloth but rather a memento to what I have lived during MBA. I was really pissed off. One of my friend came to console me and assured that I will soon get it back. No later did I realize who was consoling me? It was no other than our own ***** who got back from his home after sudden demise of his father. He lost what couldn't be bought back or someone will ever be able to return . But he subjugated his pain and in fact was standing for me! I felt really small. I was able to contain the pain of losing my sweatshirt .I learnt how to lose.

I can't see myself as I see others

I always wonder whether any medium in this world can show how I really look.Does the mirror shows my real image? Is the film able to capture my essence as it is captured by people seeing me daily? Or will I be able to see myself as I see others through my own eyes?

Give me,
Someone else's eyes
for few moments
to see 'myself'
through those eyes.


Give me,
Someone else's eyes
To look deep in my own eyes
To know a bit better
Who am I?
What kind of human being?
Trustworthy?traitor?
To know the truth
At its very best
Which no one else can do
As I can do it for myself.

To know my self better
To know how I really look
Very deeply
Which no one else can do
As I can do it for myself.

I want those eyes
Always with me
To guide me
To tell me the Truth.

The two disguised

So placement week is over.But the hangover is still there.You can hear people talking about infy's bus( with bench) and delloittes van (female coach) ,the dummies and the genuine's , profiles and packages and what not . The week proved to be a testing time for many.For many it was just fifteen minute- day one drama .
For me it was a matter of four days( just!!).Day 1 didn't get shortlisted any where...day 2 got to sit in one written test....day 3( do i need to mention previous days result) ...cleared written..( obviously of a different company)....day 4 ...got placed!!!
So I enjoyed rest of the festival by participating as dummy candidate and pepping up the day 5vers,6ers and 7ers.
Seemed like the perception of recruiters didn't match with the general perception of batch about its stars. The confident guy missed 8 ,no content guy got 8,'who are you..are you in the same class ..MBA 2? sure?' turned out to be a millionaire,'i am with future's first satisfied with 4lks'got in the infy bus day1,'Only HR' found a stint in marketing and so on.
All the stress handling technique -innate or learned were put to use.Consider, the dumb guy( your perception) coaching you on interview technique, opening your eyes for what all mistakes you did, and sharing what techniques he applied and got successful by getting placed on day before....stress management. Other day 1ers and 2ers had tough time convincing themselves about what their classmates lacked....'you know ,the guy with work-ex is arrogant'...'no no ..i feel he is not aggressive...not fit for sales job'
But again, only few lucky one got chance to appear in this adversity test(the ones who stayed till day 6,7 ) and prove their mettle.The simulation provided a good way to test their adversity quotient.Day 1ers really missed that...
So,this cloud also had a silver lining ....


Guided by a flash
In a stormy night
when others kept their
ears and eyes shut tight

I saw my way
In that traumatic plight
which many thought
was to save from their sight

As light and fright will always reside
but often a clue for the better side
for you have to choose between two disguised
late cracking thunder or first thrown light......